De-stressing Christmas

Check out this article on the Charleston Mercury website:

http://www.charlestonmercury.com/index.php/en/lifestyle/religion

Happy Holidays!

julie

A Texting Thanksgiving

Hey kids, I am working on a new column and I would like your help.

 Over the next ten days, will you please text daily something you 

are thankful for. Would like to see what happens!

 Love you four, mom

            When my kids were young, our bedtime ritual included recalling our blessings of that day. It was a time to reflect and be thankful. Life was unhurried, maybe not always peaceful, but the flow of our days begged to be taken slowly.

            Now that they are in their teens, I find it is harder to create family time.  Bedtime has evolved. Sometimes it is a prayer and a backrub, but mostly, as their needs and expressions change, our nightly moment consists of a quick hug as “sweet dreams” float through the almost closed door.

           I miss exploring their personal feelings before bedtime. For months, I debated on how to bring this intimacy back. Could it be done around the dinner table? Yes, that is a tradition-honored time, but it is a challenge to gather daily with their busy schedules and my eldest son lives far away.

            Time slipped away while I brainstormed. Finally, I came upon a modern day solution:  We would text one another what we were thankful for each day.

            I began with a group text to my four children. I asked them to participate in an experiment over a span of ten days. I wanted us to connect everyday with one event, idea, or epiphany that we appreciated. Would they join me in this endeavor to see what would happen?

            Ok, my sons texted back quickly, but my daughter, always a bit more discerning, wanted to know why we were group texting like this. My eldest son, ever the big brother, reminded her that group texting was the point of the exercise. She responded with an Ohhh haha, I didn’t even read the first text.  Then she added, I’m thankful for my life, my family and my health. We were off to a start, maybe a simplistic one, but a start, nevertheless.

            By day four, the texts were specific as we were thankful for our furry friends, baseball, good food and a “gret” school. We chuckled at the spelling error in the same quote as good education. I saw glimpses of their personalities. I asked my thirteen-year-old son William what he thought of our texts. He said that he didn’t mind and it was actually good. He liked having to focus and come up with a specific thing.

            Day five went with only my text. I sent another text on day six. I feel sad that our Thanksgiving text is petering out. Any particular reason?

            William, the easy going one, immediately texted back. I’m thankful for mom keeping us in line and always checking in on us all the time.

            The other three chimed in with thanksgivings of music, technology, living in a place of peace and family support. Day six ended with a fulfilling tone.

             On day ten, as I considered our interactions, I realized I had gained more than expected. On some days, all of my kids responded.  On other days, only one or two.  In the end, it didn’t matter that they had participated occasionally. The bond was there regardless, and when they did share, it was powerful.

            I will continue to send my daily thanksgivings. My words and feelings positively impact my mood and encourage my kids. In our busy world, every thread, even text messages, keeps us linked.